– Is it possible to move from Conflict to Collaboration, conflict that inevitably happens between two or more people in a close relationship (personal or professional, family, business or community)? – Can a community that is grappling with purpose and being conscious, benefit from turning around the projections of ‘problems’ from outside to inside? – Is there a gentle, even playful way to embrace our shadows without making it painful and arduous task to build a conscious collective? Someone said that truth must be delivered with laughter for it to be palatable. All truth must make us lighter.. In Hebrew, the word Simcha is used for a happiness that generates laughter when we contact deeper layers of reality. I have been using ‘the Work’of Byron Katie – on myself, with friends and clients- now for the last 6 years or so (since 2006 or earlier!). It has perhaps been the most liberating and freeing experience which takes us from pain and separation to peace and connection. It has often resulted in tears of love and joy rekindled shifting people’s lives relationships. Some of the many benefits and shifts I have seen people experience are:
- Dissolves Conflict : Instead of trying hard to ‘resolve’, the work naturally dissolves deep conflicts with others and with parts of ourselves enabling us to make peace with our ‘shadow’
- ‘I am just another you’– Gets us to see how whatever we judge/criticise or like in the other person is so present inside us. And we become kinder with ourselves and others.
- Spontaneous Laughter – Enables us to effortlessly laugh at what seemed to trouble us deeply as we come palpably in touch with the cosmic comic 😉
- Positive Intention – Gets us to see the positive intention of the person whose action/ behaviour is “negative” and thus just breathe easier.
- Enables ease and flow– As we make friends with Reality, we can relax into our natural essence.
- Love and Compassion – For ourselves and others involved in the situation, love naturally erupts from a place deep inside as we contact our essence and the struggle with Reality drops.
- We begin to see very practically how,:
a) ‘Everything happens for us, not to us’ b) ‘Reality is kind, unlike stories of the mind’ c) ‘Life is wise, especially when it seems otherwise’ d) ‘What is adverse, adds a verse, many verses to the song of our life’
- Ownership and Responsibility – There is a clear shift from ‘blaming’ to ‘claiming’ the situation. And the responsibility doesn’t seem like a burden but a creative freedom to respond.
- Unleashes Consciousness and a Creative freedom – As we begin to see and experience several of the above, we naturally experience a certain lightness and an inner freedom to be. The inner critic relaxes and allows life to blossom.
And there are many more. For me, the Work has been like an ocean- each time I discover a new pearl, a precious stone, a new life form, a vastness. Some of the experiences that people have shared are: “…Not only did I find the ‘cognitive’ Questioning process itself opening much subconscious material for me, Kiran’s personal empathy and wisdom allowed for the exploration and resolution of many related themes, during the Work itself. The process was deeply therapeutic as I noticed a significant change in my consciousness; I was somehow unblocked and that released a huge amount of energy, compassion and love towards myself as well as the person/s I was having the issues with. I can now carry these ‘things’ much more lightly. I feel liberated. – Nilima Bhat, Co-founder ‘Sampurnah’, ‘Roots and Wings’ and ‘Cancer Awakens’ “Just a thought can turn us so sad and depressed and feel so bad about ourselves that we become suicidal. And just by questioning the thought, in a gentle way, in a loving way, with someone who is himself centred and is able to hold your space without getting too attached to you, u can experience wat I now call – ” A Free Moment”. Thoughts still come, emotions still arise, I still have feelings but thanks to you I now have a look at myself in TOTALITY and not just one side of me by shooing away the other side. It was like a glass of chilled watermelon juice after walking barefeet under the scorching sunlight for miles and miles together.” – Shikha Kundra, a facilitator, musician and friend It is a gentle and clever way of letting u create the ‘other’ possibility – to see the other view and then shift the negativity completely by examining how the other could, in fact, be beneficial. It helps create an acceptance of the here and now, of what is happening and the doer. – Vinit Taneja, CEO, Prerna Learning Centre The first time I saw the Work I witnessed someone heal a life-long childhood trauma in a few brief minutes of realisation. The simplicity of the process struck me as genius, and since then I have used the Work for myself and for people I have worked with. Once I used it a few times, it seamlessly became part of my thought process, helping me identify and reconstruct untrue belief patterns instantly. The Work has helped me to have better self-belief and allowed me to review my ‘mistakes’ with enthusiasm. It has taught me to be more responsible for my experiences in all aspects of my life. – Dr. Santhan Reddy, founder, Deep Red Ink I was able to clearly see that my long-held grouse about my dad’s strict upbringing was a fixed viewpoint and there were several other points I could view it from. The realisation that the problem is really not the situation but the thought in the head, opened up the possibility of choice in the way I see situations. For the first time, through this exercise, I experienced what I knew- ‘we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are’ – Neelam Mehta, writer, trainer-on-sabattical, cancer warrior (from an article in Life Positive) I am now able to see that all of life is a reflection of who I am and in many ways, a consequence of what I have attracted towards myself. – Rohit Sasve, Vital Gardener, CoEvolve
2 thoughts on “The gentle Power of ‘The Work’ … to evoke play ;-) – Inspired by Byron Katie”
Thanks to Kiran I have truly understood what is real letting go. It is not consciously letting go of ones possesions or feelings. It is the acceptance of all the comin n goin without really getting perturbed in a much lighter and at the same time mature manner ! And it is truly beautiful to know that I can just be a mirror wherein others can see and feel their own reflections !
I conducted ‘ The Work’ at a session at the Learning Societies unConference on 15th June.. And this is what Prakash Gudnavar had to say:
“Summary of my take away: We want to change something in a relationship. The change expected is not “truth”. It’s an expectation, opinion, desire – more importantly its a thought. We can’t stop thinking – so such thoughts will keep coming. But what we can do is: “play” with the thought – negate it, twist it, turn it, point it towards yourself etc. Something would emerge out it and you would an access to freedom from it, accepting humanity.”
Beautifully expresses the power of the ‘Work’ to bring play! There was so much laughter..