‘Relationships are the mirrors in which you discover yourself’ – J. Krishnamurti
I was conducting the ‘Tao of Facilitation’ with Anuradha Ramesh of Pink Mist Retreat, (a wonderful friend and a great facilitator and healer) last month (Feb 2012) and towards the end she shared the 7 mirrors in relationships which spoke so deeply to me- I had seen all of these and continue to see some.
1. Reflection of the Moment: Here-Now (Root chakra, Muladahara- Creativity, Sexuality, the Child)
This mirror presents itself when we are with children who demand total and complete attention. When you answer mechanically, they will not accept. They are very sensitive to your distraction.
2. Reflection of Judgment : (Swadishtana Chakra, Sacral plexus)
This mirror surfaces in most intimate relationships and invites us to be non-judgmental
3. Reflection of Loss : Unprocessed fear (Solar Plexus)
This results in us moving from one thing to another, not wanting to stay with one thing. We distract ourselves from the pain. Creates a cycle of consecutive losses which are not processed. We move too quickly and don’t stay with our feelings. This is the result of a fear of losing connection. And hence closures don’t happen.
4. Reflection of Lost Love: (Anahata, Heart chakra)
This is an invitation to reclaim the original pure form of self-love. It is like nursing a broken heart.
5. Reflection of the Creator: (Vishuddhi, Throat Chakra)
This happens when one is forced to make a choice between a very dear one and the creator! Life invites us to make a choice between our relationship with a parent (mother/ father), spouse, child and our Creator. Metaphorically, its like – are you willing to ‘kill’ your earthly mother and father to meet your real mother and father? So that the spirit in me is kept alive! This makes us look at the conviction we have in our relationship with ourself.
6. The dark night of the soul (Agnya, 3rd eye)
Most of our experiences are partially processed and put into a bag. You can’t name this grief, this extreme pain surfaces when you are ‘ready’. Some intimate relationship comes into our life which will drive us into depression, deep psychological disturbance. You won’t even be able to identify or label what specifically is not okay in yourself. There is utter isolation.
7. Reflection of Compassion (Crown Chakra, Sahasrara)
This is a profound kind of compassion that is being asked of us in which we need to invoke a strength in us which allows a dear one to suffer. Not interfering, helping, rescuing. We see that the loved one needs suffering for his/her awakening. Can you see the rightness of the pain. Consoling and pacifying belittles the intensity and makes the suffering cheap.
My experiences with the mirrors:
It seems the dark night of the soul is over and has left in its wake a deep appreciation of life. The reflection of the moment is so true whenever I am with my darling angel, Sufii who will be 9 this June (2012).
The reflection of loss is the mirror I am acutely in touch with now. And slowly and surely allowing the pain. I don’t think there is any ‘doing’ here. It is happening and I am grateful. From many directions, life is blessing me with pain.. so that I can wake up! The reflection of compassion is what I had written another blog about- ‘A love that doesn’t invade or avoid suffering’.
The Creator mirror also I feel has come a few times. And continues to surface now and then.
Would be nice to hear from any of you who read this if it speaks to you and what mirrors you have encountered/ are encountering!