Love is a lesson in dying..

I am being called into the lives of some very dear friends.. at least 5 to 6 ‘couples’ who are grappling with this called ‘love’ … they want their relationship to blossom, and they want it to be a particular way..
I am learning more and more that this thing called ‘love’ has little or nothing to do with what the mind wants to cling on to -especially what is right/wrong.

Love always invites a dive into the unknown. It asks for us to die – again and again- to some story of the mind- of what should and should not be.
The moment we want to ‘hold on’ to how it should be.. or should not be.. we are caught in a crazy compromise..
And the human spirit will not invest itself in a compromise. No longer.

And yet, when you, I, we are willing to ‘die’ to some thing that seemed ‘sacred’ .. like a holy cow- a belief, a should.. guess what.. love blossoms.. in ways unimaginable- there is a newness and now-ness.. It does not want to be confined by any definition… or norm of society. Nor is it opposed to society!

It just invites us to play a bigger and bigger game… take on the adventure of raw living again and again.. and it is ok if we want to settle for less. It will allow you to stay with a compromise.. since it does not judge. And yet it will keep inviting you to take the dive, to die, to fly…

Love is a lesson in dying.

Either we die to the past, to our stories and mythologies about what it is and what it is not.. or willy nilly the relationship begins to decay. And that affects the aliveness of all of life..

Can we be willing to ‘not know’ what is love, commitment, freedom..
and yet discover it by continuing to see what it is not … by ‘negating’ – without condemning or justifying stuff like emotional attachment, pleasure, companionship, physical intimacy.. all these are part of the human journey.. and often stuff that we cling on to with dear life.. And in that clinging lose touch with that flame of love..

I also grapple with it.. And in my willingness to not know and conclude and define it.. there are layers and layers being revealed.. unbeknownst.. And then sometimes I get caught in wanting it a particular way.. sometimes a nice nudge, sometimes a nice slap comes.. such a compassionate life.. wanting us to wake up! Its time 😉

Will the human being take the plunge and be willing to be free from the known? Love can never be in the realm of the known.

3 thoughts on “Love is a lesson in dying..

  1. Dear Kiran… I have spent most of the morning reading your blogposts and must say that i love simplicity with which you communicate the most intricate and intimate sentiment. My favourites are this one and “separate & love”. I wrote something on similar; definitely not, same lines titled “Love is Blind….A breathtaking sentiment”… thought should share with you. Truly this sentiment can never be in the realm of the known.

    “There is a certain softness to darkness,….
    Like the feel of satin, the momentous blending in its enormity…
    a sanctuary in reaching out the known someone with eyes shut…
    a self assurance of being loved in an sightless presence
    a refuge for a selfish love reciprocated with selfish irresistibleness “

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