Yesterday I spent a day with a person who has been seen and labeled as difficult, angry, destructive and insensitive. I was not sure what would happen. I did not go with any fancy expectations. I just entered the day with him with a simplicity and a willingness to just stay with whatever happens.. To learn, to listen. To share from the heart. Just walk together as friends.
At first, I found he had a lot to share. He kept belittling ‘words’ and ‘talk’ as empty and useless. And yet he kept talking a lot. I think he must have spoken maybe 80% of the time.. at least 70%. I did what i could to listen to what was beneath all that talk and the need to talk.
And I discovered some gems. As I stayed with the challenge of simply listening and being .. I saw in him and in our togetherness a certain ‘masti’ (playful madness) – he told me later that the word ‘masti’ comes from ‘mai’ and ‘ast’.. the ending of ‘ I’ (like ‘suryast’- the setting of sun!) and many such depths hidden inside words. What a man of genius he is.
I also wondered how come most people only see the anger and destructiveness. He has a profound intensity of course which can be destructive but only that which is unreal can ever be destroyed. He shared many many interesting episodes from his life and when I went past my mind which said there must be a balance in listening and speaking etc.. I could simply enjoy the flow.. of oneness.
And in that I discovered a vulnerability, a childlike innocence, a harmlessness, a depth that wants to touch the skies, a height that wants to dive into the oceans.
I was also reminded of what Mother Teresa said.. something like.. ‘When you judge you cannot love. When you love, you cannot judge’ And another line that is coming is:
We live so that we may learn to love.
We love so that we may learn to live. – Mikhail Naimy
Thank you Rajinder for bringing me to this amazing human being.
I also felt that its best not to mention names of such people.. or even talk about what happens amidst people he knows until some shift is seen by the people who saw him as destructive. To stay with reality nourishes. All else is inviting us to be real.
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