The paradox of Confidentiality

In a beautiful Coaching assignment, where many of us have come together to coach and learn together with several CXOs in a global giant, the question of Confidentiality has arisen as a vital question. And there are differing perspectives.

Whenever there are two different and seemingly opposite perspectives, it is time to see the multiple perspectives. And one way to do that is to remind myself that any seemingly polarity is inviting an embrace of a paradox. Any conflict is an opportunity to dive deeper into the ocean of Co-creation. I am reminded of a favourite quote:

“Truth is a river that keeps separating into two arms that reunite. Islanded in between, the inhabitants keep arguing for a lifetime as to which is the right river” 😉

I have been wanting to write about this for a while – maybe a few years.. but it got precipitated by a meeting we are having this afternoon. So, for now some insights and questions I am wondering about:

  1. What Is healthy Confidentiality? How might we balance it with healthy Openness?
  2. How might we inspire vulnerability which is at the learn of any deep learning together process? (The word vulnerable has the word ‘learn’ hidden in it)
  3. If its true that everyone is a mirror of myself, would it be easier for the leader and the coaches to find the sweet spot in the paradox of Confidentiality & Openness- if we were more and more grounded in the fact of mirroring? The Work of Byron Katie has helped me to dive deep into this domain.
  4. What does embrace of this paradox have to do with honouring the unique boundaries that each of us have?
  5. How might we gently inspire ourselves and others to open up without force – so that they become more at ease to share what seems deeply personal. Because in some ways, it can be seen.. that which is personal is also universal. And this does not help an intellectual concept but the more we inhabit this reality, we may be able to discover how to honour boundaries and also inspire people to challenge it themselves. out of a feeling of safety.

I have more to share and wonder together. But it will have to wait. Would love to hear comments and perspectives- experiences – both of the honouring and dropping of boundaries.. of vulnerability and the difficulty in being vulnerable. Clearly, like the Jains say, all relative truth must be seen with two persepctives:

Syadvad – the ‘perhaps’ stance

Anekantvad – recognising that there are infinite perspectives.

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